This is my favorite house on my drive to Anderson. They have about a million of these inflatable decorations and it just looks like inflatable carnage during the day. The ridiculousness of it all makes me laugh every time...yac
PostSecret Favorite
Sunday, November 30, 2008
The Carnage of the Inflatables
This is my favorite house on my drive to Anderson. They have about a million of these inflatable decorations and it just looks like inflatable carnage during the day. The ridiculousness of it all makes me laugh every time...yac
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
And That Is Why I Love David Crowder
A Passage from David Crowder's Book, Praise Habit: Finding God in Sunsets and Sushi --
To live how you were intended, to interact with God's creation in ways that were His breathings, brings life. Real life. Not just tedious existence, but life that breathes like a tree by a cool river with the grass of Eden stretching broad an embowering under limb. And to live in ways that twist and distort His creation brings death. Not just the redundant (none of use are getting out of here alive) burying of the corpses, but the walking around kind that tastes of dust rather than the Maker's exhale of love. It is repulsive. It doesn't hold together. It is not the genesis-shape imagined for a human.
This is the argument proposed in the first psalm, that praise erupts from "right living." We usually miss the psalm's intent when we attempt to define right living. Our cultural conditioning of Western nationalistic Christianity typically sends us headlong into pharisaical discussion of R-rated movies and cussing and drinking and smoking and the dangers of associating with heathen who do any of the previously mentioned activities. I am familiar with a copious quantity of people who do not participate in any of these activities yet walk around lifeless, as dead and intriguing as a pile of dirt. The coversation is bigger and grander than this. Right living doesn't have its roots in conservative American politics; it is not simply adhering to conventional ideas of morality, propriety, or decorum. It is the living of Eden, it is living in the way that was intended, it is true living.
This mirror of the psalms and this argument for right living exposes our distortions right here at the start. We are a long way from "the beginning." It has been many days since we have felt the grass of Eden underfoot. But there is a right living that is ordered by the ways of Christ. There is a right living that erupts from the embrace of grace. This is the reason for the psalms, this is why there is cause for praise: we have a God who is bringing us back and we are responding with every heartbeat. There is a choosing. Life is not trivial -- how it is lived is decisive.
________________________
It seems that if our motives behind living right are driven by the full understanding of grace in our lives, everything else falls into place. We are going to make better decisions when we realized that the sacrifice that has brought us grace.
I really dig David Crowder.
yac
To live how you were intended, to interact with God's creation in ways that were His breathings, brings life. Real life. Not just tedious existence, but life that breathes like a tree by a cool river with the grass of Eden stretching broad an embowering under limb. And to live in ways that twist and distort His creation brings death. Not just the redundant (none of use are getting out of here alive) burying of the corpses, but the walking around kind that tastes of dust rather than the Maker's exhale of love. It is repulsive. It doesn't hold together. It is not the genesis-shape imagined for a human.
This is the argument proposed in the first psalm, that praise erupts from "right living." We usually miss the psalm's intent when we attempt to define right living. Our cultural conditioning of Western nationalistic Christianity typically sends us headlong into pharisaical discussion of R-rated movies and cussing and drinking and smoking and the dangers of associating with heathen who do any of the previously mentioned activities. I am familiar with a copious quantity of people who do not participate in any of these activities yet walk around lifeless, as dead and intriguing as a pile of dirt. The coversation is bigger and grander than this. Right living doesn't have its roots in conservative American politics; it is not simply adhering to conventional ideas of morality, propriety, or decorum. It is the living of Eden, it is living in the way that was intended, it is true living.
This mirror of the psalms and this argument for right living exposes our distortions right here at the start. We are a long way from "the beginning." It has been many days since we have felt the grass of Eden underfoot. But there is a right living that is ordered by the ways of Christ. There is a right living that erupts from the embrace of grace. This is the reason for the psalms, this is why there is cause for praise: we have a God who is bringing us back and we are responding with every heartbeat. There is a choosing. Life is not trivial -- how it is lived is decisive.
________________________
It seems that if our motives behind living right are driven by the full understanding of grace in our lives, everything else falls into place. We are going to make better decisions when we realized that the sacrifice that has brought us grace.
I really dig David Crowder.
yac
Thanksgiving
I love Thanksgiving. Mainly, I love it because there is really no materialism involved. It really is centered around being grateful for what we have rather than what we want.
Sometimes I think the Advent season has lost meaning behind all the junk that we want.
Just random thoughts at 12:45 a.m.
That is all.
yac
Sometimes I think the Advent season has lost meaning behind all the junk that we want.
Just random thoughts at 12:45 a.m.
That is all.
yac
Friday, November 21, 2008
Messy Spirituality
I was rereading one my favorite books (ever), Messy Spirituality, by Mike Yaconelli (where I got my nickname from). These are just a few of the quotes from the book that I really like.
"I go into churches and everyone seems to feel so good about themselves. Everyone calls themselves a Christian nowadays. How dare we call ourselves Christians? It's only for Jesus to decide whether we are Christian or not. I don't think He's made a decision in my case, and I'm afraid that when He does I am going to be sent straight to hell. I don't feel I can call myself a Christian. I can't be satisfied with myself. We all seem to be pretty contented with ourselves in church and that makes me sick. I think all this contentment makes Jesus nervous."
-Robert Coles
"I have been trying to follow Christ most of my life, and the best I can do is a stumbling, bumbling, clumsy kind of following."
-Mike Yaconelli
"Jesus scandalized an intimidating, elitist, country-club religion by opening up membership in the spiritual life to those who had been denied it. What made people furious was Jesus' "irresponsible" habit of throwing open the doors of his love to the whosoevers, the just-any-ones, and the not-a-chancers like you and me. Nothing makes people in the church more angry than grace. It's ironic: we stumble into a party we weren't invited to and find the uninvited standing at the door making sure no other uninviteds get in."
-Mike Yaconelli
___________________________
This is where I predominantly disagree with organized religion. Who are we to establish hoops and hurdles for others to experience God. It's set up much like a "If one does this, then you can experience God fully." In a way, many churches are still glorified country clubs, where membership has to include the right income and accepted social standards.
We have been discussing the passage in Matthew this week that states, "Love your neighbor as yourself." Can we point out the flaws in our neighbor without pointing out the flaws in ourselves? Can we tell someone else that they need to fix their lives without looking inward to fix our own? Community (real community) embodies the idea that if I call your junk out, then you can call mine out too. I feel that we must be honest and yet open enough to acknowledge our own faults.
yac
"I go into churches and everyone seems to feel so good about themselves. Everyone calls themselves a Christian nowadays. How dare we call ourselves Christians? It's only for Jesus to decide whether we are Christian or not. I don't think He's made a decision in my case, and I'm afraid that when He does I am going to be sent straight to hell. I don't feel I can call myself a Christian. I can't be satisfied with myself. We all seem to be pretty contented with ourselves in church and that makes me sick. I think all this contentment makes Jesus nervous."
-Robert Coles
"I have been trying to follow Christ most of my life, and the best I can do is a stumbling, bumbling, clumsy kind of following."
-Mike Yaconelli
"Jesus scandalized an intimidating, elitist, country-club religion by opening up membership in the spiritual life to those who had been denied it. What made people furious was Jesus' "irresponsible" habit of throwing open the doors of his love to the whosoevers, the just-any-ones, and the not-a-chancers like you and me. Nothing makes people in the church more angry than grace. It's ironic: we stumble into a party we weren't invited to and find the uninvited standing at the door making sure no other uninviteds get in."
-Mike Yaconelli
___________________________
This is where I predominantly disagree with organized religion. Who are we to establish hoops and hurdles for others to experience God. It's set up much like a "If one does this, then you can experience God fully." In a way, many churches are still glorified country clubs, where membership has to include the right income and accepted social standards.
We have been discussing the passage in Matthew this week that states, "Love your neighbor as yourself." Can we point out the flaws in our neighbor without pointing out the flaws in ourselves? Can we tell someone else that they need to fix their lives without looking inward to fix our own? Community (real community) embodies the idea that if I call your junk out, then you can call mine out too. I feel that we must be honest and yet open enough to acknowledge our own faults.
yac
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tell Three People...
Tell three people how much you love them - today. It's something that might just make their day.
yac
yac
Monday, November 17, 2008
So yeah...
So, I have no TV...and let me just say, I've been really productive...but I am about over it...
yac.
yac.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Lonely People
Instructions:
1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
I Saw the Light (DC*B)
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
O Praise Him (DC*B)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY?
Love (Jon McLaughlin who is from AU!)
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Everything Glorious (DC*B)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Ain't It Good (Children of Eden Musical Soundtrack)
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Apologize (One Republic -- Oh the irony if you have seen the dreadful dancing video)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I Will Not Be Silent (DC*B)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Indescribable (Chris Tomlin)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
She's My Kind of Rain (Tim McGraw)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Heaven Came Down (DC*B, This makes me laugh)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
My Love (Justin Timberlake)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Only Alive (Jars of Clay)
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Already Home (Ha-Ash)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Stop and Stare (OneRepublic)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Not Ready to Make Nice (Dixie Chicks, Good Start to a Marriage, Eh?)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Cheers Theme Song - The Whole Song (Phish)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Milkshake (Kelis - No, that'd be the Debs!)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Before It's Too Late (Goo Goo Dolls)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
We Shall Not Be Moved (Mavis Staples)
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Ain't No Reason (Brett Dennen)
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Just the Two of Us (Will Smith)
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
What If God Was One of Us (Joan Osborne)
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Over and Over (Tim McGraw/Nelly -- Really it does...)
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Little Wonders (Rob Thomas)
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Find Yourself (Brad Paisley, so maybe not...)
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Glamourous (Fergie)
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Addicted (Simple Plan)
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Strawberry Wine (Deana Carter)
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
What Need Now Is Love (Jackie DeShannon)
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Lonely People (Jars of Clay)
yac
1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
I Saw the Light (DC*B)
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
O Praise Him (DC*B)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY?
Love (Jon McLaughlin who is from AU!)
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Everything Glorious (DC*B)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Ain't It Good (Children of Eden Musical Soundtrack)
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Apologize (One Republic -- Oh the irony if you have seen the dreadful dancing video)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I Will Not Be Silent (DC*B)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Indescribable (Chris Tomlin)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
She's My Kind of Rain (Tim McGraw)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Heaven Came Down (DC*B, This makes me laugh)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
My Love (Justin Timberlake)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Only Alive (Jars of Clay)
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Already Home (Ha-Ash)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Stop and Stare (OneRepublic)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Not Ready to Make Nice (Dixie Chicks, Good Start to a Marriage, Eh?)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Cheers Theme Song - The Whole Song (Phish)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Milkshake (Kelis - No, that'd be the Debs!)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Before It's Too Late (Goo Goo Dolls)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
We Shall Not Be Moved (Mavis Staples)
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Ain't No Reason (Brett Dennen)
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Just the Two of Us (Will Smith)
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
What If God Was One of Us (Joan Osborne)
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Over and Over (Tim McGraw/Nelly -- Really it does...)
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Little Wonders (Rob Thomas)
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Find Yourself (Brad Paisley, so maybe not...)
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Glamourous (Fergie)
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Addicted (Simple Plan)
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Strawberry Wine (Deana Carter)
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
What Need Now Is Love (Jackie DeShannon)
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Lonely People (Jars of Clay)
yac
Friday, November 14, 2008
The Idea of Applications
I had a (brillant) professor introduce the idea of applications to a class a year ago. The idea of faith applications seems to really be rooted in common sense. However, as humans, let's just be honest, we suck at common sense sometimes.
Basically, you take a passage (i.e. 1 Peter 1:13-25)
13Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 14As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."[a]
17Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. 18For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, 19but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. 21Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.
22Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.[b] 23For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 24For, "All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
25but the word of the Lord stands forever."[c]
And this is the word that was preached to you.
________________
This particular professor argues that though there is some value in reading the Bible for the sake of reading the Bible, but he considers scripture reading a means to an end. I would say that I agree with him on that point. Knowledge for knowledge's sake is not really valuable unless it's put into action.
So from that passage, you identify a certain piece of the passage that you would take and apply to your own life. For example, verse 22 would be a good choice if I maybe did not tell someone I loved them enough.
Then from there, one can identify the who, what, why, where, when, and how pieces of the application.
Who: My roommate
What: Tell her that I appreciate her as a friend and that I love her.
Why: I don't tell her enough that I am grateful for her.
Where: In our apartment/living room... anywhere I can appropriately tell her.
When: Whenever I can do it.
How: Pray before I do it. Then, tell her.
Generally, it would be much more detailed than this. I have found great value in intentionally applying passages of the Bible to my life in real tangible ways. It allows us in a way to hold ourselves accountable for our own growth.
yac
Basically, you take a passage (i.e. 1 Peter 1:13-25)
13Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 14As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."[a]
17Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. 18For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, 19but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. 21Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.
22Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.[b] 23For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 24For, "All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,
25but the word of the Lord stands forever."[c]
And this is the word that was preached to you.
________________
This particular professor argues that though there is some value in reading the Bible for the sake of reading the Bible, but he considers scripture reading a means to an end. I would say that I agree with him on that point. Knowledge for knowledge's sake is not really valuable unless it's put into action.
So from that passage, you identify a certain piece of the passage that you would take and apply to your own life. For example, verse 22 would be a good choice if I maybe did not tell someone I loved them enough.
Then from there, one can identify the who, what, why, where, when, and how pieces of the application.
Who: My roommate
What: Tell her that I appreciate her as a friend and that I love her.
Why: I don't tell her enough that I am grateful for her.
Where: In our apartment/living room... anywhere I can appropriately tell her.
When: Whenever I can do it.
How: Pray before I do it. Then, tell her.
Generally, it would be much more detailed than this. I have found great value in intentionally applying passages of the Bible to my life in real tangible ways. It allows us in a way to hold ourselves accountable for our own growth.
yac
Thursday, November 13, 2008
There Are Times
There are times when things just come to a boiling point and no matter how much you try to keep those things covered and safe inside yourself, you just can't. Just like when you are cooking macaroni and you can blow the foam for a little while to make it go down....but eventually it just spills over the side.
That's where I am today... Though I am conceding, I knew from the beginning that it would win anyway.
yac
That's where I am today... Though I am conceding, I knew from the beginning that it would win anyway.
yac
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Fresh Ink Cards
Fresh Ink Cards by Hallmark are by the far the wittiest and best cards in stores.
Here are a few of my favorites:
"Not only do you have weird ideas, you carry them out."
"You're not supposed to suck helium out of balloons because it's bad for your brain. But if you get such a kick out of talking in a high voice, you're probably not that worried about protecting your genius brain."
"I would never shake your sand art. (inside) I am that good of a friend."
These cards are great.
yac.
Here are a few of my favorites:
"Not only do you have weird ideas, you carry them out."
"You're not supposed to suck helium out of balloons because it's bad for your brain. But if you get such a kick out of talking in a high voice, you're probably not that worried about protecting your genius brain."
"I would never shake your sand art. (inside) I am that good of a friend."
These cards are great.
yac.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Currently Digging...
Song lyrics that I dig currently...
"My heart is darker than these oceans
My heart is frozen underneath
We are crooked souls trying to stay up straight,
Dry eyes in the pouring rain where
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine
Two scared little runaways
Hold fast till the break of daylight where
The shadow proves the sunshine."
Switchfoot, The Shadow Proves the Sunshine
"I dare you to move.
I dare you to move.
I dare to lift yourself up off the floor.
I dare you to move.
I dare you to move like today never happened."
Switchfoot, Dare You to Move
yac
"My heart is darker than these oceans
My heart is frozen underneath
We are crooked souls trying to stay up straight,
Dry eyes in the pouring rain where
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine
Two scared little runaways
Hold fast till the break of daylight where
The shadow proves the sunshine."
Switchfoot, The Shadow Proves the Sunshine
"I dare you to move.
I dare you to move.
I dare to lift yourself up off the floor.
I dare you to move.
I dare you to move like today never happened."
Switchfoot, Dare You to Move
yac
Saturday, November 8, 2008
I Love This Kid...
I love this kid. He is the best and he makes my heart smile. By the way, it's my nephew...
yac
Friday, November 7, 2008
I like PostSecret too!
I don't know how to add this to the "PostSecret Favorites" so I thought I'd do it like this... this one just seemed fitting....
We All Have Secrets...
Yaconelli and I had a rather long and detailed conversation tonight. Several conversations actually. Like the ocean tide the conversation lulled and swelled and ultimately left me with a sense of contented peace. She does that for me. She leaves me feeling like a better person ~ either because she's shared her struggles with me and so deems me worthy of sharing the weight of her burdens or because she's picked up the other end of the luggage I'm carrying to lighten my load.
It hasn't always been that way for us. We've spent years working on our friendship. Tonight we spent much of the time laughing together about all our misadventures and the passive aggressive moments we've shared. We also talked about the old secrets we used to keep tucked away and hidden from each other and hinted at the secrets still buried deep inside. I've often wondered if even I know what all my secrets are. If you've worked for years to squirrel something away, "out of sight, out of mind," how do you know where to look when it's time to blow off the dust, let in the sunshine and work through your past? How do you know when it's time? If you don't trust yourself to handle the secret effectively, how do you trust it to someone else? If you KNOW you can't handle the secret effectively, how do you NOT seek someone else's guidance and trust?
I wrestled with these questions a lot throughout my freshman year at AU. I was in a new school in a new city, surrounded by new faces and being challenged to look at life through a new and different lens. I was left with starting my life over from scratch, but this time without the comfort of safety nets. I kept wondering, "How much of myself do I divulge now? How much do I hold back?" It was almost November before I began to feel like I belonged. By May I felt like I had fully committed myself to the "AU Bubble." I went home feeling like I'd made life long friends, excited to return in August, and chalk full of goals and expectations for myself to achieve during that summer break. When I returned in the Fall, feeling (again) like I was inadequate and a failure because I hadn't even looked at my 'Holy and God-Inspired AU worthy' to-do list I composed this (I like to think it was one of my more insightful moments :)...
Do you ever feel like you’re dressed for the beach, chair in hand, but when you open the door and walk outside, you step into a barren, isolated, snow-covered landscape? And you without so much as a sock or a scarf to keep warm…
Lately my soul feels like the snow-covered field. Empty, frozen, and lifeless. I had had all these ambitions at the beginning of the summer to grow in my spiritual life and my relationship with Jesus, but I feel like, if anything, I have backpedaled. I haven’t read all the Christian books on my summer reading list, I haven’t volunteered, I haven’t single handedly converted any of my friends to Christ. In fact, they are just as much unbelieving heathens as I am a believing sinner. We just self title ourselves differently. I feel as if I have spent my life with these people: talking to them, growing with them, loving them, sharing my faith with them, and one by one they have all turned around and said “Oh, were you talking to me?”
It is frustrating. I feel as if I have hit a wall I can’t break through. To them I will always be the poster child for the “Good Christian Girl” and they will always be the unsaveable. But it’s like what Mike Yaconelli says in his book Messy Spirituality (a must read) my friends are taking what THEY KNOW ABOUT THEMSELVES and comparing it with what THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME. I’m not going to lie though, part of me is afraid of what they would think of me if they knew EVERYTHING. If they knew I felt this, or thought this, or had experienced this… would they still think I was a “Good Christian Girl?” Would they still believe me when I talked about my faith and Redeemer? Or would they believe me more knowing now what they knew…?
Your secret life and your public life is a fine line, imaginary really, because for those of us who believe, we know there is no line. There are no secrets between you and Jesus; and the fewer secrets you have between you and everyone else, the better candidate you become to spread the gospel. I don’t know about you, but I firmly believe that no matter your baggage, your past sins, or the guilt you carry from these, if you give it all to God, he can take your pain and suffering and use it to His glory. That’s what he does. There are examples scattered throughout the Bible of people who were prostitutes, doubters, lazy, and selfish. Jesus surrounded himself with the worse riffraff imaginable; he made being imperfect the ‘cool thing to be’. Looks like I am really cool!
It hasn't always been that way for us. We've spent years working on our friendship. Tonight we spent much of the time laughing together about all our misadventures and the passive aggressive moments we've shared. We also talked about the old secrets we used to keep tucked away and hidden from each other and hinted at the secrets still buried deep inside. I've often wondered if even I know what all my secrets are. If you've worked for years to squirrel something away, "out of sight, out of mind," how do you know where to look when it's time to blow off the dust, let in the sunshine and work through your past? How do you know when it's time? If you don't trust yourself to handle the secret effectively, how do you trust it to someone else? If you KNOW you can't handle the secret effectively, how do you NOT seek someone else's guidance and trust?
I wrestled with these questions a lot throughout my freshman year at AU. I was in a new school in a new city, surrounded by new faces and being challenged to look at life through a new and different lens. I was left with starting my life over from scratch, but this time without the comfort of safety nets. I kept wondering, "How much of myself do I divulge now? How much do I hold back?" It was almost November before I began to feel like I belonged. By May I felt like I had fully committed myself to the "AU Bubble." I went home feeling like I'd made life long friends, excited to return in August, and chalk full of goals and expectations for myself to achieve during that summer break. When I returned in the Fall, feeling (again) like I was inadequate and a failure because I hadn't even looked at my 'Holy and God-Inspired AU worthy' to-do list I composed this (I like to think it was one of my more insightful moments :)...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you ever feel like you’re dressed for the beach, chair in hand, but when you open the door and walk outside, you step into a barren, isolated, snow-covered landscape? And you without so much as a sock or a scarf to keep warm…
Lately my soul feels like the snow-covered field. Empty, frozen, and lifeless. I had had all these ambitions at the beginning of the summer to grow in my spiritual life and my relationship with Jesus, but I feel like, if anything, I have backpedaled. I haven’t read all the Christian books on my summer reading list, I haven’t volunteered, I haven’t single handedly converted any of my friends to Christ. In fact, they are just as much unbelieving heathens as I am a believing sinner. We just self title ourselves differently. I feel as if I have spent my life with these people: talking to them, growing with them, loving them, sharing my faith with them, and one by one they have all turned around and said “Oh, were you talking to me?”
It is frustrating. I feel as if I have hit a wall I can’t break through. To them I will always be the poster child for the “Good Christian Girl” and they will always be the unsaveable. But it’s like what Mike Yaconelli says in his book Messy Spirituality (a must read) my friends are taking what THEY KNOW ABOUT THEMSELVES and comparing it with what THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME. I’m not going to lie though, part of me is afraid of what they would think of me if they knew EVERYTHING. If they knew I felt this, or thought this, or had experienced this… would they still think I was a “Good Christian Girl?” Would they still believe me when I talked about my faith and Redeemer? Or would they believe me more knowing now what they knew…?
Your secret life and your public life is a fine line, imaginary really, because for those of us who believe, we know there is no line. There are no secrets between you and Jesus; and the fewer secrets you have between you and everyone else, the better candidate you become to spread the gospel. I don’t know about you, but I firmly believe that no matter your baggage, your past sins, or the guilt you carry from these, if you give it all to God, he can take your pain and suffering and use it to His glory. That’s what he does. There are examples scattered throughout the Bible of people who were prostitutes, doubters, lazy, and selfish. Jesus surrounded himself with the worse riffraff imaginable; he made being imperfect the ‘cool thing to be’. Looks like I am really cool!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the interest of continuing the discussion Yackers and I started earlier I thought I would share these thoughts and feelings. I know I wrote it then, but I continue to struggle with them today as I start over yet again in California. It feels at times like I am trapped on a merry-go-round, unable to get off, and nauseous. I hate being dizzy. I hate feeling out of control. I don't know how much of this (if any of it) I have ever told her, so now she knows something about me she may not have known before, and so do you. Baby steps....
Thursday, November 6, 2008
How Refreshing...
"The children most broken by the world become the adults most likely to change it."
-Frank Warren, PostSecret
This is certainly one of the most refreshing quotes I've read in awhile. Though it hardly surprises me that it comes from my pal, Frank Warren, an incredibly gifted man. I hope that it is true for me.
______________________
It coincides with the passage that we are reading this week in class.
Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
NIV
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." 4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
_______________
I think as one looks at this passage there are few things that jump out instantly.
Children are told to "honor" their parents. This sets up the parents as an authority figure. Some parents these days have this weird/messed up notion that they should be their kid's friend first and parent second. I submit to you that it doesn't work.
Unlike a friendship where there is a mutual exchange, a relationship between a parent and a child doesn't function with that same dynamic. Within a friendship, you are free to unload your burdens and consequently, the other party should be able to be that vulnerable as well. In a parent-child relationship, a child cannot reciprocate that vulnerability, and asking them to do so is unfair. They also lose their point of authority.
In the passage, parents are told to not "exasperate" or "provoke your children to wrath." Wow...those are some strong words. I think it's important to consider what may exasperate children. Certainly welcome any thoughts on that.
This passage also clearly identifies the roles of the parent and child, and even directly addresses both parties... indicating that both parties were present in the crowd at the time of reading this letter.
Just some thoughts for what they are worth I guess.
yac
-Frank Warren, PostSecret
This is certainly one of the most refreshing quotes I've read in awhile. Though it hardly surprises me that it comes from my pal, Frank Warren, an incredibly gifted man. I hope that it is true for me.
______________________
It coincides with the passage that we are reading this week in class.
Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
NIV
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." 4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
_______________
I think as one looks at this passage there are few things that jump out instantly.
Children are told to "honor" their parents. This sets up the parents as an authority figure. Some parents these days have this weird/messed up notion that they should be their kid's friend first and parent second. I submit to you that it doesn't work.
Unlike a friendship where there is a mutual exchange, a relationship between a parent and a child doesn't function with that same dynamic. Within a friendship, you are free to unload your burdens and consequently, the other party should be able to be that vulnerable as well. In a parent-child relationship, a child cannot reciprocate that vulnerability, and asking them to do so is unfair. They also lose their point of authority.
In the passage, parents are told to not "exasperate" or "provoke your children to wrath." Wow...those are some strong words. I think it's important to consider what may exasperate children. Certainly welcome any thoughts on that.
This passage also clearly identifies the roles of the parent and child, and even directly addresses both parties... indicating that both parties were present in the crowd at the time of reading this letter.
Just some thoughts for what they are worth I guess.
yac
Philosophy of Education
Imagine a cross country meet. The runners line up at the start line in a big pack, ready to race. As soon as the gun is fired, they’re off. The coach sprints ahead of them on the course to shout words of encouragement. “You can do it!” the coach yells. Each runner paces themselves, and along the way encourages their teammates. Whether they finish first or last, the runners have ran a hard race, improved their times, and have done their best.
Much like a runner stretches in preparation for a race, a proper education stretches, challenges, and prepares students for life. An educational environment allows students to form friendships and provides them with social interactions that are vital to their success.
Teachers and coaches have a lot in common. As the coach encourages the runner, the teacher does that same thing in the classroom. Teachers play a key role in allowing each student to reach their full potential. Realizing that each student is unique and learns in different ways and paces is essential to being an effective teacher. Teachers must encourage each student to press on, even if something is difficult.
Much like injuries in cross country or any other sport, a teacher must understand that some students are struggling outside of the academic realm, whether that is with family issues, social problems, or any other problem that might inhibit their learning. Teachers must be fair, reach out to all students, and provide them with an environment that is conducive to learning. It is important to establish the classroom as a place where students feel comfortable and open to share their ideas and opinions without feeling inadequate. Teachers must also provide students with a comprehensive study of the subject area and cover the required standards. It is important for the teacher to actively engage the students in the classroom setting.
A coach may spend a number of hours calculating strategy and gathering information about the opposing team in order to prepare for the meet. Preparation in teaching is also essential. It provides for a smoother atmosphere and better classroom management.
Cross country is an individual sport as well as a team sport. In the classroom, students will need to assume responsibility for their actions and their education, while motivating and challenging their peers to succeed as well. Just as the cross country runners push to better their times, the students also need to strive to do their best and to establish reasonable expectations.
The ability and will to teach are gifts given to special individuals. Steve Prefontaine, a great long distance runner, summed this up by saying, “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the Gift.”
______________________
Though I will not be teaching in schools but rather at the University level, I still hold that most of these ideas (if not all) apply at the University level.
yac
Much like a runner stretches in preparation for a race, a proper education stretches, challenges, and prepares students for life. An educational environment allows students to form friendships and provides them with social interactions that are vital to their success.
Teachers and coaches have a lot in common. As the coach encourages the runner, the teacher does that same thing in the classroom. Teachers play a key role in allowing each student to reach their full potential. Realizing that each student is unique and learns in different ways and paces is essential to being an effective teacher. Teachers must encourage each student to press on, even if something is difficult.
Much like injuries in cross country or any other sport, a teacher must understand that some students are struggling outside of the academic realm, whether that is with family issues, social problems, or any other problem that might inhibit their learning. Teachers must be fair, reach out to all students, and provide them with an environment that is conducive to learning. It is important to establish the classroom as a place where students feel comfortable and open to share their ideas and opinions without feeling inadequate. Teachers must also provide students with a comprehensive study of the subject area and cover the required standards. It is important for the teacher to actively engage the students in the classroom setting.
A coach may spend a number of hours calculating strategy and gathering information about the opposing team in order to prepare for the meet. Preparation in teaching is also essential. It provides for a smoother atmosphere and better classroom management.
Cross country is an individual sport as well as a team sport. In the classroom, students will need to assume responsibility for their actions and their education, while motivating and challenging their peers to succeed as well. Just as the cross country runners push to better their times, the students also need to strive to do their best and to establish reasonable expectations.
The ability and will to teach are gifts given to special individuals. Steve Prefontaine, a great long distance runner, summed this up by saying, “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the Gift.”
______________________
Though I will not be teaching in schools but rather at the University level, I still hold that most of these ideas (if not all) apply at the University level.
yac
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Jeez...
So, I read this document put out by Focus on the Family...and it left me saying, "Wow..." The crap (and honestly that is being nice) that they put out is ridiculous in so many ways. Here is the link if you want to check it out. It is what they believe will happen now that Obama is President. Seriously...there are no words.
http://focusfamaction.edgeboss.net/download/focusfamaction/pdfs/10-22-08_2012letter.pdf
yac
http://focusfamaction.edgeboss.net/download/focusfamaction/pdfs/10-22-08_2012letter.pdf
yac
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Vote and the End of an Exciting Time
I voted today. It's always good to vote and play a small part in the election process. I am a little sad that the election will be over. It's been a pretty exciting time here in Indiana! Who knew that Indiana would become a SWING STATE!
_____________
Both candidates/parties have some cognitive dissonance within their platforms.
For example, Republicans are Pro-Life, but also Pro-Death Penalty. Democrats are Pro-Choice and Anti-Death Penalty. Do I think one party has it perfectly right? No.
We, however, must be aware of these contradictions within a party's platform and vote according to our best judgment.
yac.
_____________
Both candidates/parties have some cognitive dissonance within their platforms.
For example, Republicans are Pro-Life, but also Pro-Death Penalty. Democrats are Pro-Choice and Anti-Death Penalty. Do I think one party has it perfectly right? No.
We, however, must be aware of these contradictions within a party's platform and vote according to our best judgment.
yac.
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Private Door
By Jess Berryhill
“God enters by a private door into every individual.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
In the upmost tier of the House,
he edged toward the door
at the end of the hall
and noticed it lacked the shiny coat
of polyurethane that donned
the rest in the House.
He reached the unfinished
slab of oak and eyed
its depravity compared
to the façade of sterility
that was evident
throughout the House.
The door was far from pristine
with its numerous scuffs,
scrapes, and scars, acting
like tacky tattoos with
much better stories
behind them but going untold.
He glided his finger over
each scuff and scrape,
with none going untouched,
and one by one, the grooves
of his fingerprints met
the splintered sections.
When he took hold of
the rust-covered door knob,
it wriggled and jiggled
in place, but he knew
that it would not budge
from its locked position.
He dug inside his pocket
and removed an overfilled
key ring, and flipped straight
to a long, two-pronged key
knowing it would be the
perfect fit for the key hole.
Inserting the key into
the door, he heard the
clicking of the pins inside,
molding themselves to fit
the prongs, and then,
he rotated the key.
The door cried from its hinges
as he drew it open and stepped inside,
shutting the door behind him.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
In the upmost tier of the House,
he edged toward the door
at the end of the hall
and noticed it lacked the shiny coat
of polyurethane that donned
the rest in the House.
He reached the unfinished
slab of oak and eyed
its depravity compared
to the façade of sterility
that was evident
throughout the House.
The door was far from pristine
with its numerous scuffs,
scrapes, and scars, acting
like tacky tattoos with
much better stories
behind them but going untold.
He glided his finger over
each scuff and scrape,
with none going untouched,
and one by one, the grooves
of his fingerprints met
the splintered sections.
When he took hold of
the rust-covered door knob,
it wriggled and jiggled
in place, but he knew
that it would not budge
from its locked position.
He dug inside his pocket
and removed an overfilled
key ring, and flipped straight
to a long, two-pronged key
knowing it would be the
perfect fit for the key hole.
Inserting the key into
the door, he heard the
clicking of the pins inside,
molding themselves to fit
the prongs, and then,
he rotated the key.
The door cried from its hinges
as he drew it open and stepped inside,
shutting the door behind him.
yac
Selecting a Professor
By Jess Berryhill
First, I would have him prod at my brain
and traipse down the intellectual pathways
in the tranquil landscape yet to be discovered,
his eyes open for the chance to catch a thought.
A new snow falling in his hands, a choice arises.
Whether to mold or melt it within his grasp.
He will cradle the snow,
and slowly in his hands,
the snow melts trickling down fingers,
to the frozen earth below.
His mind will ponder and say,
“For the students alone, I wait for this moment.”
And he continues.
_____________________
The thought behind the poem is that a professor who is influential in every way doesn't mold students to fit his or her own ideals, but rather nutures them intellectually and changes the way they think (i.e. the melting rather than molding of the snow). This type of professor sacrifices a lot to do this, and his motives are founded in the fundamental belief that he or she is there for students.
yac
First, I would have him prod at my brain
and traipse down the intellectual pathways
in the tranquil landscape yet to be discovered,
his eyes open for the chance to catch a thought.
A new snow falling in his hands, a choice arises.
Whether to mold or melt it within his grasp.
He will cradle the snow,
and slowly in his hands,
the snow melts trickling down fingers,
to the frozen earth below.
His mind will ponder and say,
“For the students alone, I wait for this moment.”
And he continues.
_____________________
The thought behind the poem is that a professor who is influential in every way doesn't mold students to fit his or her own ideals, but rather nutures them intellectually and changes the way they think (i.e. the melting rather than molding of the snow). This type of professor sacrifices a lot to do this, and his motives are founded in the fundamental belief that he or she is there for students.
yac
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Moved In...
I move into my dorm room today...I wasn't too thrilled about it to be honest. It doesn't feel like home, especially right now. I have the dorm furniture and a fridge and that is about the extent of it. Hopefully within the next week, I will be able to get what was lost in the fire and get reimbursed from the insurance company. That in itself is a tedious process.
I will get back to the more thought provoking stuff soon.
yac
I will get back to the more thought provoking stuff soon.
yac
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