In the end, what matters?

What does it matter if I smile to those I see on the street or if I hold open the door for a stranger in lieu of the cold, distant shoulder?

What does it matter if, instead of yelling and screaming at the person behind the counter, give grace and understanding that it was simply a honest mistake?

What does it matter if I show compassion to those on the fringes of society rather than diminishing them to second-class citizens?

What does it matter if we toss the cluttered datebooks and simply live instead of wading through life?

What does it matter if love shown to others is not shown to ourselves?

What does it matter if love shown to ourselves is not shown to others?

In the end, what matters?

-BHill.

Mileage for Week 1/Biking...

Monday: 1.5 - 25 minutes biking to and from school
Tuesday: 3.7 - 3 round trips to school...1 hour and 15 minutes biking
Wednesday: 2.5 - 25 minutes biking to and from school
______________________

Miles thus far: 7.7/Minutes Biked: 125 minutes
______________________

I am incredibly sore today. Tomorrow...maybe exercising 2 hours...Grey's Anatomy will be on for that long... We'll see.

Yeah October 9-11!...Rock my socks off...

So, I will be attending Homecoming at AU as an Alum this year. This is Fall Break, and it is going to be AWE-SOME! First off, one of my favorite people, Amber, will be in town! :) I will get to see some of my most awesomest profs! Amy and Meredith (and Candice) will be on tap sometime during the weekend. I am chilling with Laura for one of the nights. My Canadian friend Anjali may (hopefully) be in Carmel for a conference! That would really be quite awesome as well. Nonetheless...a jammed packed weekend of awesomeness.

Totally stoked.

----------------

BHill.

46 Seconds

I will be running 2 races very soon.

The Race for the Cure (5k)
Drumstick Dash (2.6 miles) on Thanksgiving Morning in Broad Ripple.

I have been inspired by a few of the profs in the department.
________

Today was long. I had to do an impromptu lecture along with my normal classes. Then I ran a study session for the class I T.A. for. I got home around 7 and went for a run.
________

I am now quite tuckered.

-BHill.

Food for Thought.

A more positive spin on equality and how we see God.

-Jess

So, I write funny emails...

A compliation/snippets of my funnier emails to people - uncensored and all...

This is an email to my best pal, Kelley. I was listing the reasons why I missed having her as a roommate...

Reason #523 - You listen to my ramblings about the studies I am doing and how I'll be the next Erikson or Freud. If they come to you for information about my life after I die, you must not disclose... Basically, you're the next DeepThroat...except they will call you FoxyMama...

Reason #492 - We made a video to our future children documenting our college years... Maybe we should have left that undocumented. I can just hear little Shania (that's what you would name your daughter), "Mom, you and Aunt Yac were lame in college." Or perhaps little Hollow Willow Yaconelli Berryhill saying the same. (Apparently, I = having an illegitimate child).

________

About class:

Yeah, it should be an interesting discussion. I think we have both liberal and conservative thinkers in our class. And other thinkers that are well....something else.
________

About a possible new living arrangement in Terre Haute on Craigslist:

Free Junk Mobile Home

I just purchased a piece of land with a junk mobile home on it that has been abandoned and vandilized it IS NOT inhabitable. If you can haul it away its yours, there is no title to it.

Awesome...I just found a free house on craig's list.

jess.
________

About my mom and her celebrity crush:

Gosh. Crazy town. Did I tell you who my mom thinks is "hot" ? I'll give you three guesses. What is that you say? Patrick Dempsey. No.
Brad Pitt. No. George Clooney. Nope! Wait for it...wait for it....

Kid Rock...

I was speechless after that conversation.

________

So, Deb was talking yesterday about how she would "stand on the corner" if it meant grandma being able to afford to move out... so then we go to Chicago's pizza, and deb paid for my lunch and I put 5 dollars in ones in her glove box and said, "Here.." She was "No, Keep it..." My response - classic: "Deb, you might need it to make change for a five later..."

________

-Jess

Keep Breathing.

Keep Breathing
Ingrid Michaelson

The storm is coming but I don't mind
People are dying, I close my blinds

All that I know is I'm breathing now

I want to change the world
Instead I sleep

I want to believe in more than you and me
But all that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing

All we can do is keep breathing now
All that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing

All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing now

________

Good song.

Question of the Day.

Question of the day:

What would your warning label say?

-Jess.

Honestly...

e.e. cummings was one of the most eclectic poets. His poems often resemble a jumbled mess, yet convey profound meanings. This is one of my favorites.

l(a by e.e. cummings

l(a

le
af
fa
ll

s)
one
l

iness

It reads: l(a leaf falls)oneliness

Jess.

Values

I wrote this 2 years ago - much of it is still true.

_____________________

Relationships are important to me. My friends are the people I value the most. Most of them consist of people I met while at AU. I do value the community I have with my friends, and the honesty within those relationships. I don’t think I realized this until the first semester of senior year. Kelley was studying abroad, and it was hard not to have that community. We spent a lot of time together cooking and eating meals and hanging out. I think that I have taken it for granted in the past, but I definitely have came to value this more.

One of the most important ideas I value is that of education, but this is not limited only to the institutional settings of schools and universities. The broader use of the word is what I value. Education is broadly defined as, “the act or process of imparting or acquiring general knowledge, developing the powers of reasoning and judgment, and generally of preparing oneself or others intellectually for mature life” (Dictionary.com). Very simply, I love to learn. School has always been a bright spot in my life through times when I was struggling in other areas. This is likely why I get very frustrated and angry when I am not challenged by professors to learn and reach out past the point of my current understanding. Ultimately, I feel like they are failing me and my pursuit to learn. I educate myself as well through reading literary works, scholarly journals, and researching topics that peak my interest. I spend quite a bit of my own time doing this outside of class. There is a certain amount of humility one has to have in order to truly value education. I have to be willing to say that I do not know everything, and also that I value education enough to say that I will never achieve the pinnacle of knowledge where I could give up my pursuit of learning.

I value my faith enough to not quit seeking to find a relationship with Him. If I did not value this aspect of my life, I would have tossed my faith to the wayside a long time ago. I know it’s important to have a relationship with God. One day, I hope that I’ll see why. Right now, I am just sticking with it because I know I should. I don’t really know how I would measure whether I achieve a sort of spiritual sensitivity. I don’t know if one could ever fully attain that, and I think that recognizing the success or failure in attaining a sort of spiritual awareness falls completely on the discretion of each individual. I don’t think I could rely too heavily on other people telling me how well I am doing spiritually.


I value the role I play in making a global impact. It’s something I deeply believe. I try to become educated about places where injustices occur. The effort I put forth to improve the global situation will be something that I will do through out my life. There are several issues that I involve myself in, and I have become very active in dealing with certain issues. Even if I am not directly involved in an issue, I think it’s important to become educated about those issues as well. In order to value the “global impact” concept, one must also embrace other things as well. The belief of equality is something that I believe is essential to the concept of “global impact.” I value equality, because I think everyone deserves equality in the education they receive or in the healthcare treatment they get. Once I began to see the lack of these things and the inequality it created, that is when I became passionate aiding the gaps that had been created. Valuing my role in making a global impact has also made me value compassion. Again, to truly impact the world, one must have compassion. The two go hand in hand. Being aware about the struggles people face around the globe and seeing that face to face has helped me become more compassionate.

I tend to value consistency and security as ideas around which I structure my life. I value consistency, because a large part of my life was spent in an inconsistent environment. I see myself valuing consistency in the patterns of my daily life. It’s very much the same day to day. I do certain things in a particular order. I have seen that I thrive on having at least some structure in my life. It has been beneficial in some ways these last four years to develop consistency in my life. Security follows the sort of same lines that consistency takes. I value feeling secure and safe in my surroundings. It gives me a sense of comfort. If I don’t feel secure, I get frazzled and tense. Obviously, this falls low on Maslow’s hierarchy, and it is necessary for every human being.

I seek approval from many different sources, but in each instance, what I hope to gain is different. I seek affirmation in the workplace and in school just to know I am doing things right and that I am on the right track with the work I am doing.

The verdict is in...

Sometimes, you need someone in your life to say, "What the heck are you doing?" or perhaps, "Um, off track much?" And yet, I feel like that's what God is saying to me right now (perhaps not in those exact words). What would a conversation with God look like right now? Not so awesome. Some decisions (good and bad) have been made and perhaps I need to evaluate where I stand.

Jess.

The Most Random Music Video Ever...

So, I like this song, "Open Your Heart" by Lavender Diamond a lot. I was like, "Oh, I wonder if there is a video." And there was....Seriously, so funny. The lead singer is on roll skates...

Simplicity...

It's the simple things that remind us of how much we gathered from a moment in time, event, or person.

Things I Miss in My Life:

1) People who appreciate Smile Fries and Late Night Taco Doritos (i.e. Kelley/Catie and my campers).

2) Random dancing breaks and learning dances such as the Soulja Boy, Cotton-Eyed Joe, etc. on YouTube.

3) Being able to watch Bravo! and other such awesomeness (Keith Olbermann).

4) My little nephew - 'fro and all.

5) Having chats with roommates while laying in our bunk beds.

6) Getting hugged.

7) Cooking dinner for Kelley or Catie - or cooking dinner together.... or making meals in advance.

8) Rearranging furniture with Kelley (mostly).

9) Making up stupid games like Mom Wars.

-Jess.

What's New...

The new things in my life:

1. Graduate school and everything that comes with it (see below).

2. Teaching and being taught - I suppose this is what professors do everyday, but it feels weird to be a student and teacher at the same time.

3. More specifically, leading discussion groups for The Psychology of Human Sexuality and Sexual Responsibility....adventures indeed!

4. Lots of free time = I need another job.

5. Having my research interests shift from Group Dynamics to Infidelity. Perhaps not a switch I am ready to make, but we will go with it.

6. Going green and riding my bike to school everyday!

7. Missing the awesome people and the bonds formed at the house church in Anderson.

It's been a weird transition. One perhaps I am trying to be okay with, but I haven't really quite warmed up to yet.

-Jess.